The sun was hot, very hot, it beat down on two Aielman as they stumbled across the desert. When one Aielman would stumble close to the other, the other would push the other away. So they went for hours, walking, stumbling and pushing throughout the day.

"S, err, Bob," Rhodric intoned. "Forget it, we'll never catch him."

Bob growled low in his throat, Rhodric backed away from the growl thinking that Bob was finally gone off to the other side and had fallen off his rocker and become one beer short of a six pack, one egg short of a dozen. Seeing that earlier Bob was not playing with all his marbles, Rhodric was beginning to worry about Bob's mental state. There was an intense look in Bob's eyes, a feverish look, a look of a man with an obsession. Rhodric wondered, If Bob gets like this over women, what will he be like over important stuff, like football or food?

"Forget it?" Bob screamed. "How can I forget it? Ainvar stole the women!"

Bob began to pace back and forth rapidly, his arms waving about madly "There were two women, he could have taken one, but no! He has to take both! Can you believe it?"

Bob stops his pacing and stares at Rhodric "And you let him go. I can not believe you." Bob growled again. "You let him go for some rotten goats milk that smells like your mamma's cooking."

Rhodric gasps at the insult. "This milk isn't rotten!" Rhodric grasps the skin at his side and hugs it close rocking it back and forth lovingly. "This is fermented goats milk, just like the stuff my mamma used to give me when I was baby."

Bob sighs in defeat "You are the only man I know that would trade two women for rotten, I mean, fermented goats milk." Bob sits on the ground, defeated. "So what do we do now?"

Rhodric shades his eyes and looks around him "I know the way back to the Queen of Sillyness's hold."

Bob jumbs to his feet as if something was burning him.

"Ouch!! Hot sand, my butt is burning!" Bob runs around, smacking his bottom in a vain attempt to stop the burning. As if smacking ones bottom will help dissipate the heat scorching ones rear. Finally Bob stops running around an screaming long enough to stare disbelievingly at Rhodric.

Bob has both hands on his bum rubbing it as he says "Back to the Silly Hold and the Silly Aiel? Do you remember the torture we went through last time?" Bob stops rubbing his bottom and grabs Rhodric by the shoulders and starts shaking him in hopes to turn Rhodric's brain back on "She wants to hold you for the woman who has a fetish with fire, and me she wants me to be her sex slave! How can you be a sex slave with no sex involved?" Bob yells "It is unnatural!"

Rhodric shakes his head at Bob's insane ramblings "Come on, she has to be nice to us today. It is Thanksgiving." Rhodric thinks for a seconds then amends it "Well for the United States at least, Canada already had theres, but Canada doesn't really count, does it?"

"Nope." Bob chimes in. "But what does Thanksgiving have to do with Caleyna being nice to us? We're not in the United whatever you called it. We're in the Aiel Waste."

Rhodric gets a smug smile. "I think she is crazy enough to believe us that this is the United States. She might even believe us that it is Thanksgiving without saying we're in the United States, that woman is bats I tell ya'."

"Fine, what else do I have to lose besides my dignity?" Bob sighs dejectedly.

"Trust me." Rhodric says.

Bob sighs "That is usually me first mistake. What do you think always gets me into trouble?" Then Bob coughs "Rhodric, do you know if Caly pays her sex slaves?"

Rhodric laughs "If she paid them they wouldn't be slaves, now would they? If she paid you, you would be a gigolo."

Bob smiles broadly "A gigolo sounds like a great job to me! Lets go!"

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A few days later, or a week in Silly time (which is run by Caly's clock which never seems to work), or quite a few chugs of fermented goats milk by Rhodirc and quite a few gags by Bob. Our weary heroes finally make it back to the Silly Hold after narrowly escaping it the last time, and once again they are greeted by a Silly Maiden.

The Silly Maiden raises here right hand to them and says "How."

Rhodric and Bob look at each other in confusion and then look back at the Silly Maiden and say in unison "What?"

"How." She repeats.

"Huh?" Rhodric and Bob say as one.

"How."

"How?" Bob says out loud "Are we stuck in some stupid western film made in the fifties now? Indians never spoke like that, and Aiel aren't Indians!"

The Silly Maiden looks Bob up and down "How did you get here," She then points at Rhodric "with him leading the way?"

Bob only says "Luck."

The Silly Maiden nods "Ah."

Rhodric gets offended at the exchange and yells "HEY!" His eyes shooting venom at the Silly Maiden and Bob.

Bob and the Silly Maiden look abashed, they shrug at one another and say "Sorry."

When Rhodric isn't looking they give each other a wink and a smile.

The Silly Maiden lets the smile fade from her face "I have orders from the Queen of Sillyness to take you straight to her Silly Throne Room. Follow me."

Rhodric and Bob look at each other and shrug. "Ok."

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Sometime later, the trio finally make it to the Silly Throne Room.

"Are you the same maiden who took us here the last time?" Rhodric cries. "I hate being lost!"

"You should be use to it by now." The Silly Maiden Growls "Besides, if you'd keep your hands off my bottom I would be able to watch where we are going, you dirty old man!" The Silly Maiden screams back.

Bob sighs and pretends to be somewhere else.

"Old?" Rhodric splutters "Old? Do I look old? Do I? I am not even twenty." Rhodric bottles up his impotent rage and decides to insult the Silly Maiden "You are a Silly Maiden who is probably apart of the Dopey Sept of the Silly Aiel!"

The Silly Maiden gasps in shock. "You wetlander! How did you know?"

A giggle comes from the end of the throne room "Stop fighting you silly boys and girl."

The trio look in the direction of the throne and see Caly, the Queen of Sillyness. Her attire is nothing less than silly. She looks like a tinker who came out of the 70s.

Rhodric jumps and bows to the Queen of Sillyness "I beg forgiveness my Silly Queen." He bows once again "I only come here to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanks-what?" The Queen of Silliness asks. "Is it a day of woshipping all things silly? If it is you should be worshipping me now. I personify all things silly."

Rhodric smiles wider in amusement. "No, your sillyness. It is Happy Thanksgiving, my beautiful Queen of Silliness." The queen coos under Rhodrics flattery "It is a time of year when everyone eats to excess and watches football on the TV and eats some more food till they get completely sick." Rhodric states seriously "It is a great time for all."

The Silly Queen's smile fades in confusion. "That doesn't sound like a very fun holiday. Why would I want to watch football and eat till I get sick?"

"Because it is tradition!" Rhodric proclaims "The best of traditions! You can stuff yourself with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, sweet potatoes, corn, pumpkin pie and just about anything else. Some of these things you only eat once or twice a year! So natually you have gorge on them!"

"Eating till you get sick sounds stupid." The Queen dismissing the holiday out of hand. Them the Queen's eyes light up at the sight of Bob "My sex slave has returned! Come to me Shadowkiller, feed me my grapes." Her tone changes "ON THE DOUBLE!"

Bob just smiles "I am not Shadowkiller, I pale beside his true beauty. I am Bob, and I am not a Sex Slave, I am a gigalo."

"A giga-who?" Caly the Queen of Sillyness questions, not understanding.

Bob smiles again "A gigalo." Bob corrects "Women pay for my loving. Believe me, I am worth it." Bob poses and begins to gyrate his hips. Bob does this all with a wicked smile.

The Silly Queen laughs "So how is business?"

Bob stops posing and gyrating and shrugs "Kind of slow. You see, I just started a couple of days ago. Business in the middle of nowhere in the Tree Fold land isn't very prosperous."

Then Rhodrics intones "If I may, your Sillyness?" Caly nods "What about Thanksgiving and the tradional stuffing of the gullet?"

The Silly Queen doesn't even look at Rhodric "So, 'Bob', will you give me a freebie if I hold Thanksgiving?"

Bob just shakes his head "Nope."

"S.. er... BOB!" Rhodric stutters out in a rage. "Give the woman a freebie, it isn't as if you haven't given it away for free before!"

Bob shakes his head. "It was different then, I was a slut. Now I am a gigalo."

The Silly Queens leans forward on her throne "Come one 'Bob', it is my birthday."

Bob shakes his head again "Nope." Bob smiles and adds "I happen to know that your birthday is in October and not November. Besides, Thanksgiving isn't my idea, it was Rhodric's. Ask him for a freebie."

Rhodric waggles his eyebrows at Caly the Queen of Sillyness.

Caly just says "Eewwww!" She then sighs "Fine, you win. We'll have Thanksgiving."

Rhodric jumps up and down like a soccer player who just made the winning goal, he rips off his shirt revealing a sports bra. Rhodric stops jumping up and down and advances on the queen's throne, his eyes trying to be sultry and his mouth trying to be pouty, all while he trys to strutt his stuff. It only makes him look foolish.

"So, do you want the freebie, your Sillyness?" Rhodric purrs at the Silly Queen.

The Silly Queen begins to laugh so hard she falls out of her throne. When she finally gets control, she looks at Rhodric and starts to laugh all over again. Rhodric shoots her with the sports bra from acrossed the room.

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Sometime later when The Queen of Sillyness stops laughing she finally answers Rhodric.

"Rhodric, my Jimminy Cricket. I never want a freebie from you. If I ever do, have me put down."

Rhodric shrugs dejectedly "Fine. Atleast we still have Thanksgiving." Rhodric jumps into the air, thrusting a fist high above him "Lets go stuff ourselves!"

And so that is how Thanksgiving was introduced to Randland, and Rhodric never had to trick Caly into believing she was in the United States. All was well in the world, until Christmas.

The End.