As the curtain rises, we see the stage divided in two.One side looks like Salidar, and we see Aviendha sitting with Nynaeve, Egwene, Birgitte, and Siuan (henceforth known as “The Girls”). On the other side, it’s the Throne Room of the Royal Palace of Andor, where Rand is hanging out with Mat, Perrin, Lan, and Thom (“The Guys”). Both groups, oddly enough, are talking about sex, and more specifically, their first times. Rand and Avi are both strangely quiet.

Nynaeve: Avi, why do you look so embarrassed?

Rand: No, you guys don’t want to hear it. It really isn’t that
interesting.

Avi: I do not wish to speak of it.

Thom: Oh, I somehow doubt that, Rand.

Egwene: Oh, come on, Avi, it’s nothing to be ashamed of!

Mat: Come on, Rand!

Birgitte: Avi, tell us!

(Music begins)

Rand: Well, fine, then, I’ll tell you!

Seanchan Nights
(And if you haven't figure out the tune by now, just give yourself a
second.)

Rand: Seanchan lovin’, had me a blast.
Avi: Seanchan lovin’ happened so fast
Rand: Met a girl, crazy for me
Avi: I hate that guy, but he seems to love me
Both: Seanchan fling, don’t mean a thing, but oh, those Seanchan Nights.
The Guys: A-wella-wella-wella HUH! Tell me more, Tell me more
Perrin: Was it snowing real hard?
The Girls: Tell me more, Tell me more
Birgitte: Was it in a jo-car?

Rand: She ran from me, opened a gate
Avi: Then he chased me, that’s what I hate
Rand: I saved her life, she could have froze
Avi: There I was, bare to my toes
Both: Seanchan’s cold, but we’re feelin’ bold, and oh, those Seanchan Nights.
The Girls: A-wella-wella-wella HUH! Tell me more, Tell me more
Egwene: You were totally buck???
The Guys: Tell me more, Tell me more
Mat: So, was she a good---
(Rest of the Guys attack him and shut him up during the little musical interlude)

Rand: So I channeled, made an igloo
Avi: Tried to escape, Light, wouldn’t you?
Rand: To warm her up, I got totally bare
Avi: I can tell you, there’s no Dragon there
Both: Seanchan snow, which way do we go? But oh, those Seanchan Nights.
The Guys: A-wella-wella-wella HUH! Tell me more, Tell me more
Thom: Did you play her my harp?
The Girls: Tell me more, Tell me more
Siuan: I’d rather eat a live carp.

Avi: Said we should marry, I told him no way
Rand: Said I would marry, if she’d name the day
Avi: What a jerk! He don’t know Aiel
Rand: She threw a hissy - what’s the big deal?
Both: Takes the cake, what a big mistake, but oh, those Seanchan Nights
The Girls: A-wella-wella-wella HUH! Tell me more, Tell me more
Nynaeve: Don’t we wilders have fun?
The Guys: Tell me more, tell me more
Lan: So, think you’ll have a son?

(Dance number, music slows)

Avi: What can I say to Min and Elayne?
Rand: Now she treats me like I’m Padan Fain
Avi: Must forget, but I don’t know how
Rand: Wonder who - I mean what - I should do now?
Both: Seanchan dreams, ripped at the seams, but oh, those Seanchan Nights.

(Music ends, and the lights go out amid wild applause)